Homesick & Homage to Music

I assume many of you reading this may way to yourself ‘Why in the world is she writing this? What does this have to do with being in Madagascar? I want to read stories of mud huts and miracles…’ So let me say I am sorry that you may be disappointed in this post, but ‘Homesickness’ is a very big part of the reality of any foreigner being in a land they do not call ‘home’, and this is a way of my dealing with it.

It is difficult to me to integrate into mostly any social circle where the average age is above 16. Spending the majority of my time with ‘kids’ over the past couple of years whether it be at my last wonderful job (La Barrier Crossings School) or with youth in Landmark. I have grown accustom to being in a position of leadership. I have grown accustomed to being surrounded with children (some of who adore you and do not hesitate in showing you through physical touch or screaming your name until you give them attention). I have grown accustom to choosing my vocabulary carefully to lead to the quickest understanding between a child and myself. My mind is accustom to being constantly challenged in the way I am going to speak, because I want what I speak of to be appealing and challenging to the individual or group BUT always have truth at the forefront of what I speak (I know it can’t always be appealing… but it’s a lot easier to have somebody learn something when they don’t hate the method in which they are being taught). All this being said, I find great comfort and joy from a handful of individuals who are excluded from these beautiful children. I appreciate such persons, and hold them in high esteem. It’s around these friends (including my mother, father and sister) that I can be who I have to realize who I am at this old age of 22 : )

I enjoy ‘stupid’ movies (not like dumb and dumber.. I detest that movie) but Will Ferrell Movies, I love will Ferrell and his humor, it’s immature, sometimes sick, it just makes me laugh so much, also Sasha Baron Cohen (Borat – Kim and I have watched it countless times and every time we laugh. And I tried to watch it with my parents.. but they couldn’t quite see the humor and turned it off), my admiration for this type of humor many of said is evil or twisted, where I see Mr. Sasha Baron Cohen as absolutely brilliant, but would not recommend to kids). AND I enjoy depressing films (but not ‘Dancer in the Dark’ dark.. that just tears at my insides). This is something I am learning more that many people don’t particularily enjoy, and brings me to greater appreciation for my friends back home in Manitoba. I enjoy cheesy fantasy & Sci-fi movies too… like ‘Merlin’ with Kevin Costner : )

Whenever I have music on, I feel better than I did with it not being on. It doesn’t matter if I am eating, listening to a friend, teaching, thinking, I believe there is ALWAYS some type of music that will appeal to that mood (or the mood I desire to be in), or the situation. I enjoy many different types of music, but I enjoy sorrowful music and ‘angry sounding’ music a lot – two of which are not loved by a great number of people. I only say this because its around these few individuals who I love and admire that just understand that and don’t ask me to turn off the music or make fun of me.

At least I have my music. Almost every song on my computer or ipod (Thank you Spence!) holds a very specific memory; whether it be of a person, a place, an idea, or God. Occasionally in an e-mail or blog, I may post my current playlist – because I feel this says a lot about where I am at, at that point in time. This might be quite boring for many of you, but I am thankful that I have somewhere to write this, if for none other than to try and figure out what is going on in my mind and heart.

Now that you know this, here is a playlist for this past week:

Ben Harper – Excuse me Mr.: melodic, a bit ‘sick’ sounding. Its beautiful. ‘excuse me mr, wont you lend me your ear, or are you not only blind, but do you not hear? Is that not your oil in the sea, and pollution air? Excuse me mr, im a ‘mr.’ too…. Cause it’s a ‘mr.’ like you that puts the rest of us to shame.’ I know many wonderful men of all ages who live an admirable life, and I don’t mean the money the make or their careers, but the way they interact with children, how they spend their ‘free time’ (if they have any of it!), how they ‘love’, and I know a great deal of men who I would not hesitate to call pricks and forbid my dear sister to ever have anything to do with any of them.

Elton John – Tiny Dancer: Oh how I simply ADORE this song! I imagine turning into a tiny fairy ballerina and flying above where I am, out in the city or country and just making people happy by being a ballerina fairy. It reminds me of Santa Monica last fall with Kim (Landmark) and Amanda (Regina) and Mercy (Kenya/L.A.)… Walking down Santa Monica Boulevard on our way to find some ‘halloween’ fun in our quick costumes and Mercy screaming at strangers cause that’s how she interpreted Halloween ‘fun’. It was ‘pee your pants’ kind of funny. For some reason this song also reminds me of the Phyllis & Dennis Reimer family – why I’m not too sure; perhaps its that the level of musical talent in that family is astounding… and Elton john’s music blows my mind also : )

Comeback kid – Wake the Dead: ‘You said, you said, you said, this time was gonna be different. Wake! Up! The! Dead! Stop living under the weight of your regrets’ I am listening to this song right now, it’s a good Saturday morning song, makes me ready to ‘take on the day’. It reminds me of many people, and many situations.

Jorane – Priere: One French lady with her cello. It is sullen, peaceful, sorrowful, cry to God to be here please, to please be here. That’s my interpretation. I don’t know if there are any words or just vocal sounds, I think just vocal sounds, but it’s beautiful.

Nicole C. Mullins – When I call on Jesus: The epic sounding beginning is something that makes me ‘chuckle’ but then it stops and goes into a message full of hope, not to mention this lady has a beautiful voice. It makes me feel like a beautiful lady: ) “I’m so very ordinary, nothing very special on my own. Oh I have never walked on water and I have never calmed a storm. Sometimes im hiding away from the madness around me like a child whose afraid of the dark but when I call on Jesus all things are possible, I can mount on eagles and soar...”

The Unseen Guest – Listen My Son: If any of you are a fan of Blues, I highly suggest you find this song and listen to it. It’s chill, it soothes my soul, and makes me feel good at whatever place I’m in, I feel human and just that.

Tupac & Elton John – Ghetto Gospel: I could write all of the lyrics in this piece because they are just THAT good, but I’ll only post part on it, but I would encourage you that if you look into any of these songs… check out this one. “I make mistakes, I learn from every one and when it’s said it done, I bet this brother be a better one. If I upset you, don’t stress… Never forget, that God hasn’t finished with me yet. I feel his hand on my brain, when I write rhymes I go blind and let the Lord do His thing. But am I less holy, cause I choose to puff a blunt and drink a beer with my homies? Before we find world peace, we gotta find peace in the war on the streets…My Ghetto Gospel.” I think every church should take this song and plan an entire service around it, I am serious. I have many ideas. The image of Tupac and Elton John at a church pulpit preaching this song, ah what a service that could be. I think this is one of my top 5 favorite songs of all time, it’s just that good.

The classrooms at Vision Valley School do not have walls that go all the way up to the ceiling, and the roof is tin, so sound travels far. For this reason I do not play music very often, and when I do, it is very quiet. The music is a treat for the kids, and if there is even ONE sound in the classroom, the music gets turned off. I am serious about it, so the kids are absolutely silent when the music is on (sometimes it’s a really nice break). HOWEVER, every time Timbaland & One Republic’s ‘Apologize’ I begin to hear a very quite humming, and then it builds up to the chorus and the entire class is singing in their cute accented English ‘ITS TOO LATE TO APOLOGIZE’, I pretend I don’t hear... but its so loud I am SURE the classrooms surrounding me are listening to the grade 4’s covering Timbaland : )

This week:

-It has been a wonderful week of school. I am getting to know my students and some of their families a little bit more.

-I am learning to accept this slow procedure of getting organized in the classroom and planning, so I don’t feel AS lost in this ‘position’ : )

-We are almost finished our African Dance Masks! Hopefully to be done this week, and I will post pictures.

-I cut my hair really short. It wasn’t totally spontaneous (I had been thinking about it since I arrived when I realized we had a bathtub but now shower and I’d need to wash my curly longish hair either in the bathtub or the sink). But I just got sick of the dirt stuck in my hair so I chopped it all off a couple of days ago. My mum and I probably look like twins now : )

-I am kind of under ‘house arrest’… problems with my visa, but I won’t write about it on the Internet. If you have questions, feel free to email.

-Not that I have a super exciting life outside of the house, but I actually haven’t been out of the house other than to go to school. So all of this weeks happenings have occurred in only one or the other… if you’re wondering why this all sounds quite ‘boring’.

-Yesterday Georgina stayed home with me (Usually they go out on Friday nights into town to go to the Analakeyli market and then go for supper). But Georgina stayed with me at home (yay!) and we made pizza, salad, and drank $3 wine – yum.

-I made some ‘art projects’ with chalk and permanent markers and watercolor

-I stuck some keychains through my ears. (You may be able to tell I was beginning to feel a bit useless and unproductive some days, and so I figured what better way to be useful and productive than to stick keychains through my ears. It was not an easy task). Honestly though, I had time to do more planning and organizing for school, and that is good/needed.

I am one tiny puzzle piece, and this little piece right now is learning a whole whack load of humility.